Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Camryn Sullivan gets candid about mental illness. “I want the more scary, the more deep topics that are very much not talked about, I want them to become more comfy and more something that we can talk about,” says the 18-year-old content creator via Zoom call. “Just like how we can talk about any physical type of illness.”
Sullivan is in their bedroom, the unofficial headquarters of the YouTube channel they created over six years ago. The carefully decorated space, which Sullivan’s supporters have come to know and love, is illuminated with a soft, pink tint from the strips of LED lights on the wall behind them. They wear a blue crewneck that says ‘Oregon’ on the front - representing where they currently live with their family - and their blonde hair is tucked neatly behind their ears.
Sullivan is no stranger to the camera, nor are they someone to shy away when it comes to talking about mental health. In fact, they've made it their priority to be a mental health advocate in a way that de-stigmatizes the “scary topics” through the lens of their own experiences.
Since Sullivan made their debut in the digital world, they've amassed a following of over 36,000 people who value their life advice and around the clock authenticity - a nod to their realness about how they're feeling, whether it’s midnight or midday. They started creating videos when they were in middle school to help cope with life at the time and have stuck with it ever since, continuing to make videos even after graduating high school and just recently getting their first job.
Their videos often feature their friends and family, the people who are most important to them. Although they're a YouTuber, Sullivan says that Twitter is their favorite platform, joking that they feel like “a mom” on there because it’s where their followers will listen to them get serious about mental health.
There are unwritten rules in society that pressure teenagers to post the “highlight reels” of their lives and be in constant competition with their peers, a phenomenon which inevitably extends itself to competition with friends. The culture that exists on social media sites such as Instagram and Twitter makes the work that Sullivan does as valuable as it is unique. They take pride in being honest about how they're feeling and reminding people that they’re not alone if they’re struggling.
For Sullivan, it’s their bad days that are their biggest inspiration. “Honestly, I feel the most inspired through pain,” Sullivan says. “I’m like, ‘okay, if someone else was having these thoughts, if someone else was going through what I was going through, what would I tell them? What would I do for them? How would I comfort them? How would I entertain them?’”
This is the thought process that takes place before all of the videos they film, and many of the updates they post to their Twitter account, @CamrynSullivann. Sullivan makes it clear that they never force themself to make content - but whenever they're upset, they naturally pull out the camera and talk to it, doing fun things and giving advice.
They say that doing so always makes them feel better. These videos are later uploaded to their YouTube channel “Cam Sullivan” where that same advice is given to their fans to make them feel better.
The bond that Sullivan has with their supporters is a special one, considering their willingness to be open about topics like mental illness and trauma. Many of the people who watch what Sullivan does are struggling with similar things, and their work has created a community of people where everybody connects and feels safe. “Having so many people connect on that deep level is the most rewarding thing that I could ever have as a person,” they say. “Not just as a content creator, but for my whole life.”
“Camryn is such an inspiration,” says a longtime fan of Sullivan’s. “The advice that they give always helps me to get through hard times in life.”
Sullivan is grateful for their supporters accepting them for who they are, given how raw and vulnerable their content can be. It’s a reciprocal relationship, and they're always moved to see reminders that they are not alone either. Sullivan often gets emotional at the kind messages they receive, and says that someone thanking them for how “human” they are is one of the best compliments they could ever get.
Through their videos, Sullivan wants to give people hope and be an example that it’s possible to get through things like trauma and terrible days. Aside from the advice they give in their content and one-on-one conversations with fans, Sullivan makes a conscious effort to regularly retweet helplines and be an advocate for seeking professional help such as therapy.
“I’m so proud of Camryn for all of the work they do,” says another fan of Sullivan’s. “It’s amazing to see how they help people and how they help them.”
Being a content creator has shown Sullivan how to accept themself and find a way to be content with who they are. The YouTuber says the experience so far has taught them to see things through a more beautiful perspective.
“I’ve had so many thousands of people’s words impact me, and different minds impact me,” Sullivan says. “I feel like it’s all jumbled up and I have so many experiences. I feel like I’ve lived 80 years now, because I’ve heard so many stories.”
Sullivan knows that there’s going to be times where life isn’t great, but they're optimistic that they can always get through their hardships, and so can their supporters. For now, they're going to continue working on ending the stigma around mental illnesses and being the best inspiration for their followers that they can be.
If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally or has concerns about their mental health, there are ways to get help: call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text “HELLO” to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
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